Typos Anonymous

Hello, my name is David and I write typos.

Hiiiiiii, David.

And how long have you been writing typos for, David?

All my wife, actuary.

It’s all right, David. You’re among fiends – hear!?

I no, I no. It’s just – it’s just sometimes I get so excited I just wanna tail the truth, uno?

Uno, dos, tres, someone grumbled.

The moderator shot a disapproving glance toward the protestor. Go on, David. Tell us when your typo writing hit rock-botto 

Well, I was righting directions sew a friend could meat me at restraint

Go on, David. This is a safe place. Tell you are story.

I told him to turn, write at the stoplight, rite before Indian and a Street.

Indiana Street?

Write: Indian and a Street!

Write it? Why should I write it?

Uno, what I mean. Write:  Indian and a Street.

Deeeew! Deeeew! the crowd deewed.

Wait. Are you ‘dewing’ or ‘booing’?

DEEEEW!

What about the Twelve Steppes?

The Twelve Steppes!? the moderator railed, The Twelve Steppes!? You want us to go to South America to fix your faux pas? You make me sick. You think this Typos Anonymous meeting is just a big joke – don’t you, Mr. Fleming?

Know, it’s Cirrus™. I’m GOO-OOONG! to due batter.

Oh, shut up! Here’s a copy of the MLA Formatting and Style Guide, a red pen and a pot of coffee.

Can’t I just trust in a Hire Power?

You mean an Editor?

Yeah, that could be a hire power. Can’t I just trust in a hire power?

I donno. Editor’s make mistakes, two…   

Did an editor Czech this?

Mr. Fleming, half of us, our editors…

But the readers. Don’t they deserve battier?

First, you have to take the first step. You have to admit you have a problem.

I already said I right typos.

No.

Know?

No. Not ‘know.’ No! Know? Anyways, you don’t right typos because, typos, by definition, are not correct. Nor do you rite them as an accepted tradition. Nor do you simply write them, consciously. You wrong them.

I wrong them? How do I wrong them?

By not finding them and fixing them.

I think that was a sentence fragment, actuary.

Shit down!

Okay, I guess that’s what the editing process is, in essence. 

About davidwallacefleming

David Wallace Fleming is a U.S. writer, living in Austin, Texas. He is the author of the coming-of-age, social media novel GROWING UP WIRED, and the satirical science fiction audiobook, NOT FROM CONCENTRATE.
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2 Responses to Typos Anonymous

  1. Ia Uaro says:

    Hiya David. Wuv this hillarious peas! U make my dye!

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