High-Tech Sentences

What broader developments in the world-at-large might require something new in the writing of sentences? Is it enough to simply innovate with the content of our communication? A structure/content dichotomy can be borrowed from Neuro Linguistics Programming. All NLP practitioners (sales-professionals, therapists, hypnotists) recognize that the structure of communication can oftentimes be far more impactful than its content. Continue reading

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Growing up Wired – Free through the Weekend

Growing up Wired - Ebook - Amazon KindleTo celebrate the eighth Amazon review on my humorous college novel, Growing up Wired, I’m making it free through the weekend at Smashwords. So please, head on over. Get yourself a free ebook in the format of your choice and leave a review if you enjoy it. Heck, you might even read it at the beach or the pool over the weekend.

Download Growing up Wired at Smashwords

Update: 19 Likes on Facebook so far. I’ve decided to leave it free for a little longer. 

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Education & Innovation

Education & Innovation - Copyright David Wallace Fleming

Posted in Literature, nonfiction | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Mob Awaits a New Product, Drug, Gadget, OS or Something

“Why do we have to wait here at the back of this stupid warehouse? Why can’t we just get whatever it is on Amazon? - Will you shut-up, woman? My email said come here. It didn’t say nothing about no Amazon - Hey, don’t talk to her that way. I’m friends with her on Facebook. Nevermind. Unfriended - What I want to know is: what’s this strange and mysterious thing we’re supposed to pay money for?

Whaaa! Mommy, I want to leave. They’re pushing; they smell bad, Mommy - Sara, look at me. Look at me. You have a choice. Do you understand me? You can wait for what’s new on the left side of the mob, or you can wait for what’s new on the right side of the mob. What do you choose, Sara? Make your choice, Sara - Whaa! Manufactured consent! Whaaa-aaaa! I’m telling Noam Chomsky!

“Maybe it’s a new drug. I’ve been thinking for weeks about ailments I should probably have cured - I just read a tweet that… IT’S A NEW WAY TO KILL POLAR BEARS! - Excuse me but I am a Polar bear and I find that comment offensive - How did you get here? - I swam - You swum - I what? - You, you swum. That’s what you did. You swum - You see? - What? - That’s how they think they can talk to us - Did someone summon Gnome Grompsky? - Get the F out of here Grompsky (God, this guy again). They didn’t say your name, dude. They said Noam CHOM-SKY. (This happens every time) - Is it because Gnome Grompsky is too short? because, as I told you people before, that can’t be helped. It’s part of being gnome. Scrim-scrabble-gazap!

“Shhhhh! Shut-up ya’ll. They opening the rolltop - It’s just, it’s just a dusty pallet? - What’s the sign say? What’s the sign say – It says… ‘Canned Air… Enjoy your own personal can of canned air. Like real air, except lower in calories!’ - That is absolutely ridiculous. If they think we are paying good money for… hmmm… Maybe I’ll try it.”    

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Couch-Surfing Extraterrestrial

Rough night of partying for Alexander Hambone, no BS. His head rang as he got up and crossed his messy apartment to make an answer to the loud pounding on his front door. The door opened to let in the fingers of early morn and the outline of this tall, thin, grey being:

“Greetings, my Earthling! Namesake:  Identity Matrix. Yours follows.”

“Identity Matrix, huh,” Hambone grumbled. “You another one of those Martians?”

“Hell no, emphasis! Hail I from Vega system. Null-set dialogue indicator/fractionate response pattern.”

“Come on in then.” Continue reading

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Adventures in eBook Production

Recently, I finished the formatting and upload of the last of my four ebooks to Smashwords. This marks a milestone for my e-publishing efforts in that I have now self-published in both the Amazon and Smashwords marketplaces.

E-publishing ebooks yourself is hard work. There was a temptation to hire a professional to do the formatting. This temptation was overcome by the fact that I didn’t have the money. To aid in the formatting of these ebooks I began, ironically, by purchasing several ebooks, many of which claiming to include ‘all you need to know about ebook formatting.’

The tricky part of this is that 1. Ebook formatting is constantly changing and 2. Many of the writers of these ebooks are professional ebook formatters themselves and I suspect that, at bottom, they want you to agree that their employment is difficult and worthwhile and so several key ingredients in formatting the various files needed to create a state-of-the-art Amazon ebook were universally left out. This conundrum was remedied when I luckily came across April L. Hamilton’s Indie Author Guide to Publishing For The Kindle. This document carefully and thoroughly described how to create the Amazon’s chapter navigation file, also known as the .ncx file. Continue reading

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10 Ways to Admire a Woman’s Body

I’ve been blogging for a while now and I’m starting to run out of ideas. What better time to reveal a few of the less reputable aspects of my personality? Let’s see… what’s going on in the news? Nothing. A million problems, and you and I can’t solve them. What’s important is this:  It’s Springtime. That means women are going to be wearing less. Let’s face it, you are going to look (even if you’re a woman). Why not employ some of these moderately reputable and moderately successful gambits and only get caught 75% of the time? Continue reading

Posted in nonfiction, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 18 Comments